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Class 6(66)

Manowar: Hail to England

29/10/10  ||  Khlysty

Introduction

I know that y’all devoted GD fans are scratching your heads and thinking “Woa, whaddafuck’s goin’ on here? Manowar? Reviewed by fucken DroneBone Khlysty? Where the hell the world is going to?”. Well, as impossible as it seems, once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, I was a devoted fan of the bearskin-clad ones. Oh, even then I had a “post-modern” approach towards Manowar: I already sniffed incredulously, as far as their declaration of war against “false metal” was concerned. I couldn’t help but laugh at their photo sessions, what with the swords, the bearskins, the barbarian-with-constipation posturing et al. I was reading and re-reading their interviews, where they mixed manifestos about metal, guidelines about pumping iron and other totally unconnected stuff. And I was already having trouble swallowing the whole concept the guys were trying to sell, as the “loudest band in the world”.

But, the music… Oh, my, the music!!! Never before had I heard such a beastly rendering of metal. Oh, I had already heard Iron Maiden and thrash metal. But Manowar, back then, was a totally unique entity in metaldom. By mixing classic metal with thrash’s intensity and a liberal dose of machismo, testosterone and booze, the band created a sound that was, at the same time, epic, brutal, technical, bulldozer-sans-brakes powerful and heavier than the heaviest shit that anyone could find in 1984. And, yes, I know that nowadays Manowar has become the butt-end of gay jokes, that their music is nothing more than a lame regurgitation of already regurgitated ideas and that they will never make any music that matters. But, back in 1984, Manowar, for all their inherent silliness, were unfuckwithable as far as music was concerned. Period and I won’t accept any other opinion.

Of course, besides having a silly image, making silly declarations and after a while sinking into an abyss of inconsequential music, Manowar are guilty of founding what has come to be known as “power metal”, one of the cheesiest subgenres metal has been afflicted by. But, if there is a crowning moment in power metal, this undoubtedly is “Hail To England”, warts and all. It’s not that it’s just one hell of a great record; it’s that, when I first listened to it, after a couple of times I was ready to enlist to the Special Forces and volunteer for wherever in the world there was a bloody war. And I fucking hated the army, to start with… I mean, woa, dude!!!

Songwriting

As I said before, the music that Manowar created in “Hail To England” was one of the most unique hybrids metal had ever produced until then. By taking the basic metal dictums, already posited by Judas Priest and Iron Maiden, and blowing them to unimaginable proportions, by adding thrash intensity and their own trademarked brand of epic songwriting skills that were capable of turning even the most mundane little melody in a battle hymn that was able to turn a soft-hearted accountant into a blood-thirsty berserker within the length of a few minutes.

This was done, of course, by blasting the guitars and bass with an elephant-killing dose of industrial-strength steroid-like heaviness. Add to this the vocal skills of one Eric Adams –the quintessential Power Metal Singer, if there ever was one-, plus a great sense of melody, hooks and a heartfelt pathos from each member and, voila, one of the best, if not THE best power metal record is in your hands. Let me, also, add that the band decides to finish of the record with two real curveballs: the chaotic bass solo of “Black Arrows” (“May each note I now play be a black arrow of death, send straight to the heart of all those who play false metal”, yeah, right…) and the epic to end all epics, the nine-minutes-long, all-muscle-no-fat “Bridge Of Death”, a multiparted story of a man’s descent into Hell, the only song that I can easily say that thematically compares favorably with “Black Sabbath” and a song that, not only displays in full color the compositional skills of Manowar, but shows them to be able to pull off –with scary ease-, not only lunkheaded raise-yer-fists anthems, but, also, more delicate and harrowing musical pieces. Fucking fantastic song, that easily turns the record into a masterpiece and earning it a well-deserved 9.

Production

Okay, it’s on the cheap and it shows: the drums lack punch and sometimes the details get blurred. No matter, though, the band’s grit-and-bone powerhouse performance overcomes each and every obstacle the production imposes. It gets an 8 and walks happily to battle.

Guitars

Not only Ross The Boss lays down the law about how power metal guitars should sound –beefy, heavy, crunchy and scary in their heavosity-, he also displays great variety in his playing and offers some great not-exactly-chaotic leads. The Axeman Cometh, he gets a 9 and everyone should bow down to his might

Vocals

Eric Adams, in this here little record, does the following things: he shouts, screams, howls, growls, sings, speaks, shouts and screams again, etc. He does each and every of these things with great ease and conviction. Also, his falsetto is as macho as it gets and when he screams “Each dawn I DIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!”, shivers run down the back of yours truly. He’s one of the best power metal vocalists, powerful, versatile and with impressive range. Whaddya say I give him a 9 and a sword? I KNEW you’d like my idea!

Bass

Joey DeMaio is the main composer of the band, thusly the songs provide us with something that’s sorely lacking in power metal: considerable bottom end. Plus, what with the beans production, he covers impressively the riffing department, when Ross goes of into one of his leads. As for “Black Arrows”, the fact that he keeps it as short as possible is a blessing, as the track is not what I’d call classic material, while Joey is and he rightfully gets his 9 as a badge of honour.

Drums

As I said, the production leaves quite a few things wanted in the drums department. Anyway, Scott Columbus, while not the most versatile drummer, lays down the warbeatz as needed and he gets an 8 for leading the horde to war.

Lyrics

7,5. “Strong wind, magic mist/To Asgard the Valkyries fly/High overhead, they carry the dead/Where blood of my enemies lies”. Read it, sing it and then go find a double axe and go kill the stone-trolls

Cover art

7. Ridiculously perfect for the record.

Logo

8. It’s a fucking classic.

Booklet

?. Got it on tape. What can I say? Sue me…

Overall and ending rant

As I said before, nowadays Manowar is a joke. Back in 1984, though, they were probably the best band to come outta Noo Yawk since The Ramones. Their music, while always verging on the ridiculous, was powerful and important. The band members were hungry and convincing and they trailblazed a new and exciting path for heavy music. So, it’s really a sad thing that only one year after “Hail To England”, their crowning achievement, they would start their descent into musical inconsequentiality, with the abysmal “Sign Of The Hammer”. Anyway, please, forgive their trespasses and enjoy “Hail To England” for what it is: a glorious piece of anthemic metal and one of the best and most revolutionary records to come out during the ‘80s, up there with “Ride The Lightning”, “Reign In Blood”, or “The Number Of The Beast”. Now, I’m gonna leave you, go don my chain-mail and go fight some barbarians. Or something…

9

  • Information
  • Released: 1984
  • Label: Music For Nations
  • Website: www.manowar.com
  • Band
  • Eric Adams: vocals
  • Ross The Boss: guitar
  • Joey DeMaio: bass
  • Scott Columbus: drums
  • Tracklist
  • 01. Blood of my enemies
  • 02. Each dawn I die
  • 03. Kill with power
  • 04. Hail to England
  • 05. Army of the immortals
  • 06. Black arrows
  • 07. Bridge of death
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